The latest

Wow. I had this whole post drafted up yesterday about my mother-in-law. Here's an excerpt:

Ugh, MIL. You guys, I am being a total baby, but I want to cry.

Yesterday everything was better with her. She came over to our house. Got all moved out of her rental. I saw her for about 45 minutes after I got home from yoga. She was cool. Chill, a little bit wiped out energy-wise, but that is very common for her. Big lulls in energy.

This morning, I heard her up before me. In the kitchen. I rushed to get ready for work. On my way out the door, she came out of her bedroom. Shit, I thought. I wanted to make it out without having to deal. She asked me if I had any Benadryl. She sounded weak and dramatic. I told her no, but Gelson's at the bottom of the hill would have some for sure. And I was out.

Well, what continued was that she really wasn't feeling well. Went to wake H up. He took her to Kaiser. They ran a bunch of tests on her. She was severely dehydrated and also severely anemic. Like whatever is considered low hemoglobin, she was WAY below that. Iron supplements weren't going to cut it, so they scheduled a blood transfusion. And a number of scans - CT scan, etc - to determine what was the cause of this insane anemia.

I felt terrible. I mean, poor woman. Clearly not doing well. But, I will selfishly admit, I was also totally bummed out. How does this happen the day before she is supposed to leave? There is some sort of psychosomatic thing going on with this lady. It would be one thing if she was a totally normally functioning person, who got sick at the end of her visit. It happens. But with her, there is some catastrophic drama on a daily basis. It's freaking exhausting. And right when we were going to get a reprieve, BAM, she's back. And she's living with us again. Shit.

I kept my personal vent session to myself (and my mom and my sister - thank god for family you can confide in). H spent most of the day at the hospital with her. I talked to H's brother, who also thinks his mother is over the top. I think he sees his mother for what she is, so while concerned about her, he was also just worn out and disappointed.

I got home in the evening, and H was here with our little nephew (H's brother's son), Jeremy. H's brother was at the hospital to give H a break for a while. H left soon after I got home to go bring his mom things for the night, as she was being admitted (a blood transfusion is a long process that has to be carefully monitored). At about 9pm, H's brother came back to pick up his son. And check this out. They ran a second hemoglobin test on MIL, I suppose as a control method to ensure the original results were correct. Totally normal hemoglobin levels. WTF?? So they ran a 3rd test. Totally normal hemoglobin levels. So either the 1st result that morning was improperly labeled as hers, or she has some wacky shit going on in her body.

BIL totally poured his heart out to me - about how tough it is for him having his mom here. He works from home, and with her being just a few minutes away, she calls him with things on a daily basis. And they aren't things like "Honey, I baked some cookies for you", or "when you have a chance, I could use your help with something." They are serious, dramatic, over-the-top panicky requests. Basically, the woman has a serious anxiety problem. She needs medication. I'm convinced. She thinks she is all hippie-fied, self aware, enlightened.... and I think it's a whole crock of shit. She is the most self-unaware person I know. She has no idea how she affects other people, and she has no consideration for what other people are going through when she gets into one of her freak-outs. I don't think she does it on purpose, but this is clearly a mental condition. She gets herself all panicky, like a serious panic attack, and it affects her health. Doesn't insane amounts of stress affect everyone's health?

So anyways, she'll come home today (they still kept her overnight, probably for safekeeping), and hopefully H's brother can arrange a flight for her on Monday. But holy shit, talk about issues. I need this woman out of my life.

Mother-in-law, stand back!

I swear, this woman is pulling some cockamamie shit. I thought I had it up to here with her, and yet she continues to push it to the next level.

I talk to h this morning. He says that MIL says she has come down with awful stomach acid symptoms. She claims that her husband gave it to her... but she does not mean this in a literal "passing of bacteria or virus" sense. She means it in a "I've put a spell on you" sense.

What is this woman smoking and can I have some please?

H went over to her place, brought her some alka-seltzer, tums, and a sweatshirt. Why she needs a sweatshirt in this weather is beyond me. It's all for the drama, I guess. She says if it gets worse she's going to need to go to the hospital. I think she needs to be put on an allowance. Only one dramatic outburst per week.

H said that his brother called him this morning, and was "hating on mom so much." H sounded surprised or disappointed that his brother reacted this way. I told him it was because his mom was exhausting. I mean, let's cut the bullshit here. The woman has SERIOUS problems.

She is supposed to be leaving for Maui on Friday, and may god send me a sign if she is trying to pull a fast one on all of us. She's moving out of her place tomorrow and spending Wed and Thurs night with us. If she is trying to sneak back into living with us here, she's got another thing coming.

I need your prayer people. For some personal restraint. Because if we reach that point, I may go buck wild.

Nice weekend

Whew, Monday is here already. Man, these weekends are wearing me out! But they're also wonderful, with so much exciting stuff going on!

Friday

I skipped out on joining all my colleagues for an after work drink, just because I had the opportunity to go home and hang with h alone. With all the commotion of his family around lately, this was just so important. Peace. Quiet. Us.

I got home and he had dinner prepared. Short ribs (yum!), green beans from our garden (so amazing), and rice. Love my guy. We ate and then plopped on the couch. By 8:30 I was out. I got up and made it to bed at 11:30, and kept on sleeping until about 8:00 am the next morning. Guess I was tired. Ya think?

Saturday

I felt like a million bucks on Saturday morning. Though when I opened up my eyes and saw the disaster that was our bedroom, I winced. Clothes everywhere. Such a mess. Our closets had finally been finished the day before, and the weekend had to be devoted to putting things back in order. H got started right away, bless his heart. I had to get ready and go to a shower for my SIL. When, calling it a shower isn't really appropriate. It was really more of a meet 'n greet, since the little dude is already here. But she called it a shower. So there.

I hauled ass down to Pasadena. Lots of ladies in the house. I hung out for a while, saw family that I only see on occasions like these, stayed for all the presents, and bailed. H and I had our 5th Bradley class, which was "First stage of labor" to attend.

Except when I called H, he said he was so busy with organizing the house that he hoped we could skip class. To be honest, after all the idiotic questions posed in last week's class, I was game.

I came home, and joined in on the closets. H was done pretty quickly this morning, but I guess it's easier when you're a guy. My portion of the closet is about double his, and it was just SO.MUCH.WORK. Trying to get rid of old nasty hangers, color coordinating how things are put back, deciding where pants are going to go, vs shorts, bathing suits, etc, hats, bags, scarves, winter stuff. Oy! It was exhausting. With a few breaks here and there, I was done. So very happy! I got rid of all the other stuff littering our bedroom floor, and the room was just clean, so well organized, and lovely. H had finished putting steppie's clothes in her new closet upstairs, got all the rest of her stuff out of the baby's room so that was clean and fresh, and got the garage all organized - tools and all!

We took a jump in the pool and just splashed around. It was lovely and delicious and oh-so-refreshing.

For dinner we just ate leftovers and watched Jerry Maguire. So nice to remember a time when Tom Cruise was just so great and normal.

Sunday

Sunday morning I got up, lazied about, and got ready to meet some fellow nesties for brunch!


I met Skatcat, Swellinsocal, Sueball, luvnyc, and marinabride at Rose Cafe in Venice!


We're all pregnant little nesties and it was so nice to meet! We didn't only talk about babies and pregnancy and all that, but also careers, and environmental law, and why SoCal is just such a great place to live. Really nice group of gals and I look forward to seeing them again soon!

After brunch, I went to Target to meet my mom. I needed to get some odds and ends, mainly window coverings for our bedroom and for the baby room. I also needed a million new hangers for the closet. My mom helped me pick out a sweet sheer pink curtain for the baby room (also Shabby Chic, sticking with the brand!) and I got some nice simple sheer white embroidered curtains for the bedroom. Simple works. Simple lasts.

Mama followed me home and we just hung out. I showed her all the house stuff we had done, and also showed her the beautiful new wall in steppie's room. She said, "Oh, you should have that painter come and redo some of the walls in the baby's room." Well, I kind of agree - the Little Mermaid is a little intense in that room, and there's a shamu floating around as well as a Sebastian. Not so soothing for a wee one, I'd say. But I know H said it would be fine to leave it as is, and I didn't want to get into a thing about it with him. So I figured I'd just let it go.

Not long after, MIL came over. 5 more days to go until she leaves people. I was showing her the curtains I bought for baby's room, when she said the same thing as my mom. Bring the painter back. As soon as she said it, I grabbed her to go find H. I figured if it came from his mom (as opposed to me or my mom), it would be more convincing. And it was! Sweet! I called the painter and she'll be available in about 2 weeks. Look at some of the great stuff she has done:


These are just a few of the watery/beach scenes I pulled from her website. Her book (portfolio) is much more updated and point is, this woman is supremely talented! So we're going to keep the beach theme in the room, but kill the Little Mermaid (sorry Ariel) and her underwater friends. We'll do a beach bungalow or something with hibiscus and other pretty flowers growing. I'm so excited!

Not too long after, my dad came over (was this the family day or what??). He never comes over so this was kind of special. We had a really nice time. He is really excited about becoming a grandpa. H brought over the glider that we got from BIL down the street, and dad tested it out. Heh. We then got into another political conversation - which is always a mistake with my family and H's (or rather my mom or dad vs MIL), as they are about as polar opposites as you can get - sigh. Dad left after a while and H went down to Rosti to pick up dinner. My sister came over and the 4 of us (me, H, sis, and MIL) sat outside by the fire pit and nibbled and talked. It was a beautiful way to end the day and the incredible weekend!

We just got so much done and this baby is going to be here before we know it. I can't wait!

Stuff

Lots of stuff going on! Let me summarize...

1) Still have not taken a belly shot. Bad, bad! I will DEFINITELY do it this week, I just must. I feel like I'm doing a disservice not memorializing the progression of this belly. And whoa, is it progressing. It's kind of crazy.

2) Speaking of which, I'm starting to feel - how should i say it - big. The only place I feel big is my belly (thank god!), but it's starting to get in the way. Getting out bed in the middle of the night takes more energy. Getting out of my office chair at work takes a bit of coordination. Getting my fabulous maternity jeans up and over the initial tummy bump takes some effort. And we still got over 11 weeks to go. Yeah baby.

3) Good sleep is slowly slipping away. I cannot, for the life of me, get back to sleep once I'm up at about 3 or 4 in the morning. My mind starts racing, and I can't get it to shut up. I look at my clock once I'm up, and I can almost guarantee the time. Wish this was Vegas.

4) Our closets are almost done. They're great! The real work begins this weekend when I start to put stuff back in the closet. Our bedroom is full of my clothes, H's clothes, and steppie's clothes, since all the closets were done. Good grief!

5) I passed my blood glucose test! I'm so, so happy. No 3 hour test to have to deal with, and no gestational diabetes to have to deal with. Thank you, insulin gods!

6) I am listening to Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose." I've heard a lot about Eckhart Tolle, and wasn't necessarily dying to read it, but I do appreciate and value good spiritual readings. It's nice to get away from some of the fluff and read some real literature - about just being conscious and aware and in tune with our spirit. Away from the ego. I was at the book store the other day buying a fabulous book, "The Birth of Venus", and I saw Tolle's audio book for sale at the front. Sweet. I picked it up. I've never listened to an audio book, and so far, I do like it. I've listened to it the past two mornings on my way to work. It's really nice listening to that first thing in the morning, when my mind is still clear, and peaceful.

7) Planning for my baby shower is underway! This is the one being thrown by my sister and girlfriends. I helped my sister pick an invitation. The generic text is on there now, but we're basically doing a cocktail party, co-ed shower. It's going to be a blast!


The blond is me, and the the dude is H. Ha!

Otherwise, what else... MIL is leaving next Friday. She'll come back in October, when the baby is here. I need a collective pray from all of you that she'll get her head screwed on straight and stay in Maui. She's pulling all sorts of adolescent emotional bullshit right now and I hope this isn't her way of trying to stay here. The woman needs serious help, medication, enlightenment, whatever.

As for me, life is good. I think I'll probably work another 8-9 weeks or so. If I make it that long. Heh. I need to go talk to HR about putting the management-approved back-to-work plan in place. Nice to have this crossed off my list.

And I'm a happy girl. Can never be grateful enough for that.

28 weeks

So I'm officially 28 weeks along today. 12 weeks to go in this pregnancy. I need to remember to have H take my 28 week photo sometime today. I've been forgetting the last few weeks.

It's about 5 am right now. I just woke up. Hot as hell. I love the summer nights, but I wish it would cool down more at night.

The weekend so far has been a bit of a blur. After work on Friday I went to have a drink with my boss. It was just the two of us, which is nice. We had lots of philosophical conversations. He's a brit, who was raised in the UK but spent much of his life in Germany before coming to Cali. I always find it so interesting to talk to Europeans. They have such different outlooks on life than most Americans. My boss for instance, hates happy endings. He likes to see dark, depressing films because that is more what reality is like. Sorry dude, if that's your reality. I love happy endings, love stories, and situations where everything works out because so far in life, it seems as if it is usually does. Count my lucky stars, I guess!

I got home at about 8:30, hoping to find a quiet home. H was in Santa Monica at an event. Lo and behold, I pull up to find MIL's car, SIL's car, and BIL's car. Oy vey, dude. I gave myself a little pep-talk in the car, and went in. Thankfully, they were all getting ready to leave. One of steppie's cousins was going to spend the night, and MIL's husband has been staying here (which is totally cool by me), but as far as the others, go home! We hugged and hello'd and they were out.

I started chatting with MIL's husband - just asking him how things are going, how things are on Maui, etc. He said it's been a bit strange living by himself for the past 4 months, but other than than that, it's been good. His business is going well, and he's been able to devote a lot more time to it. He's an architect. He promoted two of his staff, and has been spending a lot more time at the office than he had in the past. And I couldn't believe when he said this, but he actually said that based on his life before (as in with MIL), she was so demanding/needy of his time that he couldn't devote what he needed to, to his work. Wow. And he threw in a few similar comments as our conversation went on. There were even a few "if we get back togethers", and other hypotheticals about their future. Like this is still very much a "trial period" between them. I could sense some stress he had about her or resentment that she is such a demanding person. Interesting.

Yesterday we got a lot done at the house. Again. Closets are now all gutted, patched, and painted. All of our clothes are strewn on big blankets in the living room. The closet people are coming on Monday to install the new closets. Can't. Freaking. Wait. Carpets are cleaned and beautiful. Baby's room is empty (save a pile of stuff on the daybed that still needs to be moved upstairs into Steppie's room). Our fountain in the front yard is finally level, thank god. The couch from upstairs got moved into the garage. Next week, we also have the painter coming to paint Steppie's barn scene in her room. So slowly, our home renovation project of 2008 will come to a close. Still need to pick the garage floor flooring, and some other things, but phew. The bank account thanks us.

We also went to our Bradley class yesterday. Oy vey. It was actually quite an irritating class. The instructor spent SO LONG talking about a lot of bullshit. Ultrasounds. Different types of monitoring. So much detail. And people had the most fcktarded questions. So many hypotheticals and what-ifs. So much paranoia. I mean, it went on and on and on.... The minute she said we were wrapping up, H and I sprinted out of there, while someone asked some other paranoid question. I'm all for being informed (heck, I've got books galore here, and I signed up for the class), but I'm not so overly worried about the effect of a few ultrasounds on my baby, or trying to plan the most perfect birth ever. It's going to be what it's going to be, and that's it. This isn't a freaking honeymoon, ya know?

After class we came home and went over to BIL's house (down the street) for BBQ and to celebrate little nephew's birthday (an early bday celebration since grandpa, MIL's husband, is in town). God bless H's family, but I think I'm literally done. I so need a break from these people! Sometimes I just hear MIL ask for H or his brother, and it just annoys me. I'm terrible, aren't I? I just can't keep smiling and asking how everyone is doing and hearing everyone talk about all the bullshit I've heard them talk about for the past few days. Ugh. Maybe I'm impatient or hormonal, but spending an hour hearing about little nephew's baseball game in excruciating detail for an hour is just not my idea of fun.

At about 8:30 I said I was out of there. Thank god, H soon followed me. MIL's husband spent the night at their house last night, as did steppie, so it was SO NICE to have the house quiet - just H and I. We walked around the front garden, looking at our beautiful fruit trees, vegetable plants, and flowers, talking about what to plant next. The night was luxuriously warm and delicious, and I was a happy girl.

Peace. Quiet. Me. H. Home. Just us. Summer. About once a week, I need just that, and nothing more.

Pure Bliss

Do you ever just wake up, feeling fully refreshed, rejuvenated, peaceful, and wonderful? That's how I woke up feeling today. Pure bliss.

Last night I had dinner with a good college friend of mine, V. We get together about once a month. It's always a good time. Just catching up on each other's lives, catching up on the goss about other people's lives, and a lot of laughter. There is something so special about having girlfriends, isn't there?

I got home at about 9:45, stuffed to the max (there just ain't much room in ma belleh). H wasn't home yet - he had an event in Santa Monica. But MIL's husband was there. He apparently is staying with us (and not with her). I guess that's cool; maybe they want to take their reunion slow. I truly like him. He's just so sweet and soft spoken, and funny, and nice. He told me about their time at the Wild Animal Park, and how well he had put Steppie to sleep. I was overjoyed when I heard it! She didn't even want to be read a story - he just kissed her goodnight and that was that. If only H would finally break the cycle he has going with her, it would allow this girl to grow up and be the true 8 year old she is! Le sigh.

H eventually came home and the 3 of us just caught up a bit. MIL's husband then got tired, so went upstairs to crash. It was SO NICE to just be alone with H. I truly missed him! On one hand, it's nice to have so much (of his) family around, but on the other hand, I want everybody just gone! We cuddled and rolled around and it was just perfect.

I slept incredibly well. You know that sleep where you just feel like you are transported to a tropical island? Where you just wake up and the world seems different? Brighter? Sunnier? Happier? On top of that, it was Friday, and that is just the icing on the cake. As I lay in bed this morning just appreciating the heavenly state I was in, I felt my little wee one squirming around and kicking. It's such an incredible feeling. Just to realize that there is a living thing, a little baby, growing inside of you. It's a trip! For most of the day you just go about your thing, sure, you know you are pregnant, but when you have those quiet moments to just experience it and embrace that reality, it's magical.

As I was getting ready, Steppie got up. She was so sweet! I turned on the TV for her and asked her if she wanted some breakfast. She said "not yet." So she just chilled out. As I was cutting up some fruit for myself, I saw some mango in the fridge. I know how much she loves mango, so I cut it up for her. I told her this was a pre-breakfast "snack." The look on her face when she saw the mango was precious! She said thank-you with the sweetest little smile ever.

On my way to work, I just felt incredibly blessed. Grateful for being me. What can I say, I like the person I am. Grateful for my wonderful husband, who I adore, and who I am excited to spend forever with. Grateful for my little sweet pea, who I am SO excited to meet. Grateful for my family, for health, for my house (my sanctuary), for my job (and how awesomely flexible and supportive they are of me), for my kitty (who is just the raddest feline out there). This list could keep going and going.

I thank whatever higher power is out there, and truly appreciate my life.

Happy Friday to everyone! Hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

And they're off!

H, steppie, steppie's cousin, MIL, and MIL's husband are off to the wilderness today. Well, the wilderness packaged properly as The Wild Animal Park in San Diego. H, steppie, and I took this trip with steppie's BFF last summer. It was really a great time, but when H booked this about 2 months ago, I just knew it wasn't going to work for me. Sleep is hard to come by these days in my own California King bed, so I didn't want to try it out on a mat in a tent with a few other people. Uh, no thanks. And second, I'd have to take work off. I am totally cool with taking work off for a little trip, but this one? No.

So, if you read that first sentence thoroughly, you'll know that I said MIL's husband is out here. He flew in on the red-eye this morning and is here till Monday. It has been about 4 months since he has seen his wife. I think the point of his trip out here is to (a) reconnect with MIL, since she's going back to Hawaii at the end of the month (b) help her pack up her stuff and take some of it back with him and (c) see all the grandkids.

Last weekend MIL couldn't stop mentioning how this was her last full weekend just hanging out with us alone. This weekend her husband will be here. The following weekend she is going up to Monterey to visit one of her old girlfriends who has lived there for the past few years. And the following Friday, she's aloha-bound. So ladies and gentlemen, this trip is up. Phew.

I asked her how she was feeling about seeing her husband. Was she excited? Nervous? How did she feel about going back to Maui? She said she really had no emotion about it whatsoever. She mentioned this to her team of therapists (cranial-sacral masseuse, regular therapist, and energy healer) and they said that the only way she would have been able to do "the work that she's done" would be to have no emotion about what she had left behind. I don't know what kind of bullshit that is, but whatever.

Her husband came over to our house at about 5:30 am when his flight came in this morning. I barely heard the door click. I was up at about 7, and gave him a hug, it was good to see him. I've always really liked him. He had some breakfast and took a shower. MIL came over while he was in the shower because they were all heading out to San Diego.

Now, just a question for you ladies. If things were a bit on the outs with your husband, or partner, or whatever, and you hadn't seen said person in about 4 months, but clearly wanted things to work out between you (given that you both made the necessary changes), how do you think you would greet this person? They've obviously flown out on their own to show some effort, and to take that first step. I don't know about y'all, but I'd try. A little color in my face. A little pep in my step. A little warmth. A little enthusiasm.

Well, when MIL came over, as I mentioned, her husband was in the shower. I told her that he was in the shower. She responded as if she couldn't care less. She was more worried about asking me if she could borrow my hat, reminding H that she needed the water in her car because she gets thirsty, thinking she needed to bring some snacks because there would be no way she could wait until lunch to eat. Her, her her! Unbelievable! I was getting ready in our bedroom when husband got out of the shower, but before I knew it I heard them talking outside. And her tone was not warm and friendly. She was mentioning something about "negative energy" and I just thought, "WTF is your problem? You are clearly a highly demanding, self-centered person. You want to save your marriage, and your husband is here making a concerted effort. Show some warmth! Show some love. You can have all those tough conversations later. But what a buzz-kill! Guy just gets here, and boom."

Situations like this always remind me of a conversation I had with my mom. I have a few people in my life who are PhD trained psychologists. FIL for one. Stepsister for another. One of my good friends for a third. And all these people have major relationship troubles. Either with their significant others, or socially with friends. It's like, "aren't you trained to know how to deal with this?" My mom said, "I never went to college or had that specialized training, but you better believe I earned a PhD in relationships."

MIL worked for years as a therapist. I personally don't get it. For someone to not have any idea how their behavior is towards others, and to call themselves a therapist who is so in tune with people is just a crock of shit. I literally wanted to shake MIL this morning. Dumb, dumb, dumb!

And they're off. And I couldn't be happier I'm not there.

Baby steps

We've made a good deal of progress on the house stuff this weekend! It's such a blessing to have a 3 day weekend with no other commitments. It's also such a blessing to have a husband who is motivated to get this done [sending many thankful, grateful vibes!].

In two days (Friday and Saturday), h and his crew managed to get steppie's new room painted upstairs (in just a base color blue; we have hired a painter to come and create an outdoorsy barn illustration on her wall, which she requested), all her furniture moved up there, the closet upstairs ripped out, the closet downstairs (which will be baby's closet) ripped out, and half of the master closet ripped out. We'll have to do the other half next weekend... it would be too difficult to live without any functioning closet space for over a week. They also painted this great daybed we had in the garage white, which will be perfect for baby's room. It's a sleigh bed style, which is similar to the crib. This will be a bed for a nanny if we really do end up needing one, and if not, just a bed in there for whatever. The room is nice and large so it doesn't take up a lot of space.

The crew also ripped apart the entire garage - and wow - it looks amazing! They removed this false ceiling that was there (for no apparent reason) and above it is a huge 20 foot A-shaped roof. It looks great and opens up the garage immensely. We're going to paint all the wood beams of the ceiling - probably a very pale blue - put in some rubber flooring (sand color), bring our elliptical machine down there, h's pinball machine from work, install a bike rack, bring down a spare couch that we have, set up the AC in there (install a vent) and install a TV. And presto! We have another chill rec room in the house. And if we ever need more space, we could always just insall a small bathroom in there and this could totally serve as a guest room/nanny room too. Sweet!

Next weekend we're having all the carpets steam-cleaned (baby room, steppie's room, office, family/play room upstairs, and staircase) and then we can officially go pick up our nursery furniture. And once that is built, we are pretty much done. It's great that the nursery is already all decorated and adorable, thanks to steppie. The only other thing I'll need to do is go to Target and buy some window coverings for our master (we still don't have any!) and for the nursery. I have my maternity shoot scheduled for August 15th, so it will be nice to have the nursery all set up and adorable for some fun shots!

Yesterday h also came with me to our Bradley class. He couldn't come to the first (out of town for work), and we both missed the second last weekend due to our trip to the kid-infested desert. Yesterday's class was just covering pregnancy in general. Not entirely new information for me, but maybe for h. We watched a birth on video, and gawd, that's going to be a fun one. It was really great that he was there, and it was amazing how tender and sweet he was for the rest of the day. Not that he isn't a great guy 99% of the time, but he was so, how should I say... delicate. And accommodating. And affectionate. I loved it! In the class our teacher was talking about massage, and the task for this week is have the coach (the father) massage the mama-to-be every day. Um, OK, sign me up for that!

We went to go see Wanted, the new Angelina movie last night. It was pretty good! It really was not what I was expecting and the movie did have some good surprises in it. I'd give it a solid B to B+. If you like some Angelina, some gunfire, and some good action, go for it.

Afterwards we came home, sat on the HUMONGOUS bean bag h recently brought home for steppie, and just talked. It was nice and quiet and peaceful. As I drifted off into sleep, H delicately picked up my hand and started massaging away.

It's still Carte Blanche to me!

Happy 4th of July to everyone!

I just woke up after a hell of a lot of sleep. Dude, what's up? After battling the freeway home last night, h and I went to grab dinner at Gio's, this great local Italian spot. It was so nice to just have dinner, the two of us. After we came home he turned on the TV, and in about 5 minutes I was out. Done and done. It must have been 9 or 9:30 pm.

He woke me up at 1am to go to bed. WTF was he watching for so long? No matter, I fell right back to sleep. Wonderful. That is my problem lately. Falling asleep is fine, but once I'm up, I'm just up. Thank you sleep gods for letting me fall back into my slumber.

I've been up since about 6:30 this morning and we have a lot going on in the house this weekend. We are redoing our closets - all of them - and the garage. I am excited about this, because our closet is so big and fabulous, and has so much potential. Right now it's kind of a disaster. It's going to be great to have a place for everything. Aaahhhh. It will also be nice to do the two other bedroom closets so that steppie will be set when she moves upstairs, and the baby will have lots of space for all the cute stuff I know she'll be getting. We are also going to turn the garage into more of a rec room - with the potential to turn it into our office as well down the road. So we'll be putting in new flooring, etc. So this weekend is about demo-ing the closets and garage infrastructure we have now - and patching and painting. H is bringing over two workers to handle all of this. The garage is a total mess so we have to go through it together. And these two guys will also be bringing all of steppie's furniture upstairs so we can start getting the nursery together. Whee! Finally.

Oh - and hooray - I finally sat down with my boss and CEO to talk about my back-to-work plan yesterday. Finally. And I think it went really well! They started off by saying how much they value me and how much they consider me part of the team and don't want to lose me. That I'm successful at my job and there is management potential for me and definitely a career for me here at this company. [applause]. As far as my proposal of working 3 days at the office, they are fine with this. What they are a little concerned with is 2 full days Carte Blanche at home. They think that this is going to set a precedent within the company. Employee A could say they also want to work one day from home. Employee B could say their commute is long too, and they'd like to work a day a week from home. That is what they'd like to avoid, and I do understand their point of view. So what they are saying is, if I do have specific projects to work on at home - writing proposals, following up with customers, reviewing supply agreements, doing discovery, working on our ads etc, I can certainly do these things at home and bill them hourly. So I will be committing to at least a part time schedule - 3 full days at the office, or 5 half days in the office, however I'd like to organize - and anything above and beyond that I will bill as hourly. I think they will present this to others in the company that I'm just moving to a temporary part-time schedule. And they also said that as soon as I feel I want to go back to full time, no problem.

I think this is fantastic. For so many reasons. First, they are being totally flexible with me. They say I can keep this schedule as long as I want to - and as long as it works for the company. They say if they realize more help is needed, they will let me know in advance before making any decisions about new hires, so that I can alter my schedule if possible. Second, this gives me a lot of freedom. You see, I was a little bit worried about being glued to my home office for two full days a week. When I'm home. When I'll be a new mom and have a little baby at home. I want to be able to participate in just being with my baby. Joining some fun classes. Hanging out with some other mamas. And with this setup, I will be able to do that, and still do work at home, and get paid for it. Sure, I will be taking somewhat of a pay cut, but it will be proportionally based on the hours that I put in. And that's totally OK with me.

So hooray! I'm so thrilled that it worked itself out. Maybe that's why I slept so hard last night :)

The only thing we're doing to celebrate the 4th today is going to my mom's for a family BBQ later. That sounds great. I'm kind of happy we aren't committed to any major plans.

Much love to everyone, and happy 4th!

Two's a crowd?

Wow, something has changed in my body over the last two days. Maybe it has something to do with this growing fetus inside of me.


It's like I'm... how should I say it... stuffed. Stuffed Turkey, stuffed cabbage, just packed in like sardines in a can. I feel like a water balloon that is about to burst. Baby must be doing some crazy growing right now because I feel this stretchy/pain sensation under my ribcage. So odd! And I can barely eat. Couldn't even think about breakfast this morning. And for lunch, I had a small salad and was stuffed! I've heard of this happening in the last few weeks of pregnancy, but for some reason, I'm going through it right now. Odd. Especially since I was eating totally normally over the weekend!

I'm wearing a fabulous maxi dress that Wan blogged about the other day. I had to steal her fabulous find! Maxi dresses are perfect for pregnancy, just as much as they are for the non-pregnants. I ordered the yellow, a la Hayden Panettiere:


I look like a beaming sun in my office today, but it's so flattering and really cute. Thanks Wan!

Hmmm - what else? I slept a gazillion hours last night. I was just SO.FREAKIN.TIRED. I had a long, busy day at work. It was a good day, in the sense that projects are flowing in right and left and we're doing quite well in terms of budget. But that means more work and more coordination and more headaches, too. Like one of my projects in particular.

This is a client that I picked up in about 2.5 years ago. Last November, they ordered a small-ish batch of material. Of course, it takes us months to even get going on these things, and a few months later they asked for a new quote of their material at 3 times the scale of their November order. Sweet! Since we hadn't started on the original order yet, we were able to incorporate the original request plus the follow on request in one batch. Once the project was finished, we realized we had almost 3 times the total order in excess. And guess what? Customer bought it all! So that's just awesome.

I've been trying to coordinate shipment for them for some time now. Of course, things get tied up in QC, QA, shipping, etc. The material was supposed to get out this week. EVERYONE knew about it. Well, last minute someone whose signature is vital to the release of our products said that he thought everything was going out next Monday. How he thought this, I have no idea. Grrrr. Our CEO called me on my way home from work and asked how critical it is to get the material out this week. I said I wasn't sure, all I know is that we've committed over and again to this customer that the material would get out this week. But if it couldn't go, it couldn't go, and I'd tell them it would be Monday.

I figured I'd email them when I got home. But I was so tired and kind of grouchy and didn't want to deal with it. Plus, they are abroad and that would mean I'd wake up this morning and find some belligerent emails from them about how pissed off they are. So I figured I'd just wait until this morning.

I got to work, and the first email I receive is from said customer, with the following message:

Please hold off on shipping our material until Monday, July 7th. Our contract partners are just concerned with shipping material during a holiday week.

OK, does it get any better than that? I got the outcome we needed, without having to look like the asshole. Sometimes it really just does pay not to do anything at all.